Racey Ricotta


Me, eating some creamy as fuck ricotta


Third date. Shes coming over to your place for the first time, and you want to dazzle her. Shes the kinda gal who doesnt see apartments until the third date. All around a class act you wouldnt be totally embarassed to introduce to your mom. You have plans to watch a movie (which in its self is a whole other problem…psst…go with a comedy) but what to snack on? Chips? (too greasy) Pop corn? (too cliche!)

I know. A cheese and cracker spread…with wine. Casual but refined. Like your lady. But instead of busting out a brick of cracker barrel… elevate that shit to *holy fucking god!* and MAKE SOME RICOTTA! She will be so god damned impressed…I mean, who the fuck makes cheese?!

You do good sir. You do.


3 cups whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon coarse sea salt
3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice


Pour the milk, cream and salt into a large-ish stainless steel pot. Attach a candy or deep-fry thermometer. Heat the milk to 190°F, stirring it occasionally to keep it from scorching on the bottom. (I cannot emphasise this enough!)  Remove from heat and add the lemon juice, then stir it once or twice, gently and slowly. Let the pot sit undisturbed for 5 minutes.

Line a colander with a few layers of cheesecloth and place it over the sink. Pour the curds and whey into the colander and let the curds strain for at least an hour. At an hour, you’ll have a tender, spreadable ricotta. At two hours, it will be spreadable but a bit firmer, almost like cream cheese. Eat the ricotta right away or transfer it to an airtight container and refrigerate until ready to use.

You can put that onto toasted baguettes and drizzle with honey, or maybe some balsamic vinegar… Pop some grapes onto your cheese platter, get some crackers… And get to deciding on what movie to watch. Pressures on cowboy!


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